I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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