She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
