Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
