I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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