i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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