I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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