If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
