Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
