people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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