I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
