Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize