Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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