What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
