Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
