I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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