you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize