Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
