do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
