My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize