then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
