Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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