my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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