I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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