I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
