We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
