there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
