We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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