Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize