k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
