I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
