There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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