If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
