I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
