Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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