Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
