I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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