Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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