Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
