singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
