I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
