I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
