apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my shit smells like andre
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
