As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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