Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
