this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
