ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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