Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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