i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
