ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
