Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
