Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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