...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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