Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just want nice things and good sex
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm both gender and math confused
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
