You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
