It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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