I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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