i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
