I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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