I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize