Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize