508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
