Your face is a jimmy john
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Found the puke drawer
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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