Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
