She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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