I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
