she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
